CERN

Hello guys, Gene here.

Switzerland made up for what Finland lacked: mountains. Grey and everywhere you look, constantly reminding you that they could crush you with an avalanche if they wanted. I constantly think it going to rain because heavy black clouds are circling, but my eyes travel higher to the peek, and realize it’s simply another mountain. The cloud are simmering low, curling around the peaks and tumbling out of caves and caves. Dragons, obviously. They hide in the caves, their scales shimmering in the intense fire from their jaws. Claws dig homes down to the hot dirt surrounding the molten core of our Earth. They ask riddles to passing travels in voices forged from the very flames of the hottest forge. Ebony eyes pierce even the toughest of amour of the most steel-willed of knights go weak at the knees. Tiny water nymphs swirl and sing in streams. Pixies fly with ease even in the thickest if woods, weaving magic spells unknown all the while. Earth Elementals observe all, years racing by like second, as they saw buildings rise and fall around them. They have been here at the beginning. And if I asked nicely, they might tell me their secrets. Maybe. Just maybe.

But if you want something with a bit more proof, let me tell you about CERN. Based in Geneva, CERN stands for Council European Research Nuclear. They are a very important organization in the human race’s craving for knowledge about the Universe. Basically, they get two singular particles and push them through a gigantic metal loop/tube underground, and spin them in different direction until they almost reach the speed of light, and the smash together. So what? You might ask. Why wants smushed particles? Lots of very excited scientists, that’s who. Because then they hit each other, what basically occurs is a tiny version of the Big Bang. No, I’m not talking about the show with Sheldon Cooper, when, possibly, the Universe started. (All depends on who you ask) All religious argument aside, this is a massive breakthrough for the human race, and the occurrence of Antimatter. Anitmatter, is literally, the opposite of matter. It is extremely hard to store, because it explodes in a flash of white light if it comes into contact with any Matter (which is everything). If you have read Dan Brown’s ‘Angel’s and Daemons’ you know what I’m talking about.

I did manage to embarrass myself in front of the entire tour group by asking if CERN had really found enough Antimatter to make a bomb. The tour guide laughed and said no, they had only been able to store it for a few second before it explode. (Although she did hint that she read Dan Brown’s book too, so it wasn’t so bad.)

 There was also an American dooshbag that would ask annoying question that would take ages to answer and would hold up the group. There’s always one in each group in each tour group in every museum in every part of the world. And they aren’t always American! But I had a feeling he was asking fancy question to try and show off to the rest of the group, which didn’t work because half the group couldn’t hear what he was saying anyway. There is a saying that a little bit of knowledge is dangerous. This guy was using little bit of knowledge. He had a small knife and was throwing it around like it was a sword. But it didn’t matter what type of weapon he was wielding, because everybody wanted to stab him anyway.

All though we didn’t get to see the gigantic particle smashing loop (I wasn’t expecting to see it, but a nerds got to dream), we did get to see a very early version of it. In all simplicity looked like a gigantic kiln. As we weren’t allowed to open it and look inside, they showed a holographic light show on it, explaining what parts were what and their job i.e Two D shaped magnets that kept the particle spinning and a giant spiral of wire that helped absorb the energy (I think) At first I was puzzled by the 5 meter thick concrete walls, but the tour guide quickly explained that when a particle changes direction ( spinning in a circle) it needs to release some of its energy in, the form of radiation. Luckily the radiation only goes sideways, and doesn’t drift up. So they only needed to make the roof of normal thickness.

We also saw a workroom where they were evaluating the data that they collected from a recent collision. We stood behind  a glass wall that separated us and a bunch of scientist sitting around and looking bored. One person had a respectable about of rubber ducks blue tacked to the top of his computer. Good on him.

And with the screaming of Springy’s broken muffler, we drove off into the sunset, feeling like we had learned something valuable and very stupid at the same time. Thanks for reading and hopefully your feeling very impressed right now. Are you moved? Sure you are.  Awed? Looks like it. Jealous? Yes?

Good.